Coffee Appreciation Workshop

At the start of the year, I made a promise to myself that I will learn (at least) one new skill this year, and (at least) one, every year. Among the items on my learning list is Coffee, I had thoughts about signing up for courses associated with coffee.

Well, luck embraced me and my retweet made it to the winners list of TimeOut’s Illy Coffee Appreciation workshop, conducted by Universita Del Caffe Della Malesia (University of Coffee, Malaysia) at Phileo Damansara.

The workshop provided informative insights on coffee and personally, it was definitely a good exposure and a great prologue to more coffee-related courses for me in the near future. I learned about the differences between Arabica and Robusta beans today, and our Certified Barista instructors showed us a demo on how to use the espresso machine to get the perfect cup of espresso. If brewed wrongly, you can be sure your cup of latte, cappucino, americano and other espresso-based beverage will go really wrong too.

The demo was followed by a coffee tasting session, and it proved to us how a small variation in coffee handling and brewing time (to even using a cold versus warm cup) can make or break the taste and aroma of coffee. It was definitely an insightful 2-hour session.

To brew a cup of perfect espresso, the correct dose of coffee is EXACTLY 7g (single shot, 14g for double), tamped just once (so it is compact enough to let water percolate through), water temperature at 90 degrees, and frothed milk no hotter than 65 degrees.

And I learned what ristretto is today! It is widely-known that there are no shortages of ‘good coffee’ in Australia and that’s because their order comes in the form of double ristretto. Technically speaking, 7g of coffee grind will produce about 25-30ml of espresso, but the same dosage of grind will produce only 15ml of ristretto, therefore extracting only the most intense characteristics of the beans.

The highlight of today’s workshop has got to be the guided hands-on opportunity to make our own cup of espresso (and milk frothing), with a nice finishing in the form of coffee art. I have to say, barista is no easy job! Even milk steaming and frothing needs accuracy!


My first coffee art- a disfigured heart. Jessica’s creation on the right, or what she refers to as autumn trapped on foot leaf.


…. and something prettier from our Barista instructor.

It was definitely a fun and incredible experience. I’ve been drinking coffee since my teenage years, but now that I know a tiny bit more more about coffee and its preparation methods, I think I will definitely appreciate coffee more (which is exactly the whole point of the workshop).

It won’t be a cheap investment, but I think I shall consider signing up for more comprehensive coffee courses in the near future.

Oh yes, say no to 3D coffee art! They’re nice to see, but it’s made with dry (bad) foam, which will definitely ruin even the best brew!

Living without Stress

Was watching a show on KBS, and this newly-released episode touches on the topic of living without stress. Members of the show were asked to meet a ‘happy person’ and find out their secrets to happiness. I think this episode came out at the right time, as I ponder on the same thing lately. Following are some tips from each member of the show. Here goes.

1. Life is like a competition for happiness.

Everyone is trying to be happy. You have no reason to be less happier than anyone else. Whenever you do things that you like, count that as happiness.

2. Everyone gets stressed.

Half happiness, half sorrow. Half fortune, half misfortune. Half hope, half despair. That’s how we were created. But we were only taught to focus on one side – the happy side. There’s also the bad and (sometimes ugly side) but we were never taught how to overcome them. Stress is a burden we have to live with. God made us like that.

3. Be grateful.

Even on things that might seem trivial to you.

4. Don’t try to force yourself to do things.

That will cause stress.

5. Be loyal to this moment.

Happiness is this moment. Enjoy this moment. Be grateful you’re alive. Be grateful you’re not hurt. There’s no use worrying bout the future that has yet to come.

6. Find a friend who you can talk to deep down from the heart.

7. Smile

You’re not smiling because you’re happy. You’re happy because you smile.

Neil Gaiman’s The Kindly Ones.

Neil Gaiman’s The Kindly Ones.

“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn’t it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life…

You give them a piece of you. They didn’t ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn’t your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like ‘maybe we should be just friends’ turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart.

It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It’s a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.”

Don’t work. Avoid telling the truth. Be hated. Love someone.

Written by Adrian Tan, author of The Teenage Textbook (1988), was the guest-of-honour at a recent NTU convocation ceremony.

This was his speech to the graduating class of 2008.

I must say thank you to the faculty and staff of the Wee Kim Wee School of Communication and Information for inviting me to give your convocation address. It’s a wonderful honour and a privilege for me to speak here for ten minutes without fear of contradiction, defamation or retaliation. I say this as a Singaporean and more so as a husband.

My wife is a wonderful person and perfect in every way except one. She is the editor of a magazine. She corrects people for a living. She has honed her expert skills over a quarter of a century, mostly by practising at home during conversations between her and me.

On the other hand, I am a litigator. Essentially, I spend my day telling people how wrong they are. I make my living being disagreeable.

Nevertheless, there is perfect harmony in our matrimonial home. That is because when an editor and a litigator have an argument, the one who triumphs is always the wife.

And so I want to start by giving one piece of advice to the men: when you’ve already won her heart, you don’t need to win every argument.

Marriage is considered one milestone of life. Some of you may already be married. Some of you may never be married. Some of you will be married. Some of you will enjoy the experience so much, you will be married many, many times. Good for you.

The next big milestone in your life is today: your graduation. The end of education. You’re done learning.

You’ve probably been told the big lie that “Learning is a lifelong process” and that therefore you will continue studying and taking masters’ degrees and doctorates and professorships and so on. You know the sort of people who tell you that? Teachers. Don’t you think there is some measure of conflict of interest? They are in the business of learning, after all. Where would they be without you? They need you to be repeat customers.

The good news is that they’re wrong.

The bad news is that you don’t need further education because your entire life is over. It is gone. That may come as a shock to some of you. You’re in your teens or early twenties. People may tell you that you will live to be 70, 80, 90 years old. That is your life expectancy.

I love that term: life expectancy. We all understand the term to mean the average life span of a group of people. But I’m here to talk about a bigger idea, which is what you expect from your life.

You may be very happy to know that Singapore is currently ranked as the country with the third highest life expectancy. We are behind Andorra and Japan, and tied with San Marino. It seems quite clear why people in those countries, and ours, live so long. We share one thing in common: our football teams are all hopeless. There’s very little danger of any of our citizens having their pulses raised by watching us play in the World Cup. Spectators are more likely to be lulled into a gentle and restful nap.

Singaporeans have a life expectancy of 81.8 years. Singapore men live to an average of 79.21 years, while Singapore women live more than five years longer, probably to take into account the additional time they need to spend in the bathroom.

So here you are, in your twenties, thinking that you’ll have another 40 years to go. Four decades in which to live long and prosper.

Bad news. Read the papers. There are people dropping dead when they’re 50, 40, 30 years old. Or quite possibly just after finishing their convocation. They would be very disappointed that they didn’t meet their life expectancy.

I’m here to tell you this. Forget about your life expectancy.

After all, it’s calculated based on an average. And you never, ever want to expect being average.

Revisit those expectations. You might be looking forward to working, falling in love, marrying, raising a family. You are told that, as graduates, you should expect to find a job paying so much, where your hours are so much, where your responsibilities are so much.

That is what is expected of you. And if you live up to it, it will be an awful waste.

If you expect that, you will be limiting yourself. You will be living your life according to boundaries set by average people. I have nothing against average people. But no one should aspire to be them. And you don’t need years of education by the best minds in Singapore to prepare you to be average.

What you should prepare for is mess. Life’s a mess. You are not entitled to expect anything from it. Life is not fair. Everything does not balance out in the end. Life happens, and you have no control over it. Good and bad things happen to you day by day, hour by hour, moment by moment. Your degree is a poor armour against fate.

Don’t expect anything. Erase all life expectancies. Just live. Your life is over as of today. At this point in time, you have grown as tall as you will ever be, you are physically the fittest you will ever be in your entire life and you are probably looking the best that you will ever look. This is as good as it gets. It is all downhill from here. Or up. No one knows.

What does this mean for you? It is good that your life is over.

Since your life is over, you are free. Let me tell you the many wonderful things that you can do when you are free.

The most important is this: do not work.

Work is anything that you are compelled to do. By its very nature, it is undesirable.

Work kills. The Japanese have a term “Karoshi”, which means death from overwork. That’s the most dramatic form of how work can kill. But it can also kill you in more subtle ways. If you work, then day by day, bit by bit, your soul is chipped away, disintegrating until there’s nothing left. A rock has been ground into sand and dust.

There’s a common misconception that work is necessary. You will meet people working at miserable jobs. They tell you they are “making a living”. No, they’re not. They’re dying, frittering away their fast-extinguishing lives doing things which are, at best, meaningless and, at worst, harmful.

People will tell you that work ennobles you, that work lends you a certain dignity. Work makes you free. The slogan “Arbeit macht frei” was placed at the entrances to a number of Nazi concentration camps. Utter nonsense.

Do not waste the vast majority of your life doing something you hate so that you can spend the small remainder sliver of your life in modest comfort. You may never reach that end anyway.

Resist the temptation to get a job. Instead, play. Find something you enjoy doing. Do it. Over and over again. You will become good at it for two reasons: you like it, and you do it often. Soon, that will have value in itself.

I like arguing, and I love language. So, I became a litigator. I enjoy it and I would do it for free. If I didn’t do that, I would’ve been in some other type of work that still involved writing fiction – probably a sports journalist.

So what should you do? You will find your own niche. I don’t imagine you will need to look very hard. By this time in your life, you will have a very good idea of what you will want to do. In fact, I’ll go further and say the ideal situation would be that you will not be able to stop yourself pursuing your passions. By this time you should know what your obsessions are. If you enjoy showing off your knowledge and feeling superior, you might become a teacher.

Find that pursuit that will energise you, consume you, become an obsession. Each day, you must rise with a restless enthusiasm. If you don’t, you are working.

Most of you will end up in activities which involve communication. To those of you I have a second message: be wary of the truth. I’m not asking you to speak it, or write it, for there are times when it is dangerous or impossible to do those things. The truth has a great capacity to offend and injure, and you will find that the closer you are to someone, the more care you must take to disguise or even conceal the truth. Often, there is great virtue in being evasive, or equivocating. There is also great skill. Any child can blurt out the truth, without thought to the consequences. It takes great maturity to appreciate the value of silence.

In order to be wary of the truth, you must first know it. That requires great frankness to yourself. Never fool the person in the mirror.

I have told you that your life is over, that you should not work, and that you should avoid telling the truth. I now say this to you: be hated.

It’s not as easy as it sounds. Do you know anyone who hates you? Yet every great figure who has contributed to the human race has been hated, not just by one person, but often by a great many. That hatred is so strong it has caused those great figures to be shunned, abused, murdered and in one famous instance, nailed to a cross.

One does not have to be evil to be hated. In fact, it’s often the case that one is hated precisely because one is trying to do right by one’s own convictions. It is far too easy to be liked, one merely has to be accommodating and hold no strong convictions. Then one will gravitate towards the centre and settle into the average. That cannot be your role. There are a great many bad people in the world, and if you are not offending them, you must be bad yourself. Popularity is a sure sign that you are doing something wrong.

The other side of the coin is this: fall in love.

I didn’t say “be loved”. That requires too much compromise. If one changes one’s looks, personality and values, one can be loved by anyone.

Rather, I exhort you to love another human being. It may seem odd for me to tell you this. You may expect it to happen naturally, without deliberation. That is false. Modern society is anti-love. We’ve taken a microscope to everyone to bring out their flaws and shortcomings. It far easier to find a reason not to love someone, than otherwise. Rejection requires only one reason. Love requires complete acceptance. It is hard work – the only kind of work that I find palatable.

Loving someone has great benefits. There is admiration, learning, attraction and something which, for the want of a better word, we call happiness. In loving someone, we become inspired to better ourselves in every way. We learn the truth worthlessness of material things. We celebrate being human. Loving is good for the soul.

Loving someone is therefore very important, and it is also important to choose the right person. Despite popular culture, love doesn’t happen by chance, at first sight, across a crowded dance floor. It grows slowly, sinking roots first before branching and blossoming. It is not a silly weed, but a mighty tree that weathers every storm.
You will find, that when you have someone to love, that the face is less important than the brain, and the body is less important than the heart.

You will also find that it is no great tragedy if your love is not reciprocated. You are not doing it to be loved back. Its value is to inspire you.

Finally, you will find that there is no half-measure when it comes to loving someone. You either don’t, or you do with every cell in your body, completely and utterly, without reservation or apology. It consumes you, and you are reborn, all the better for it.

Don’t work. Avoid telling the truth. Be hated. Love someone.

So, What’s Your Passion?

The whole team was treated to lunch today by Prof Schlomo, who comes to Singapore once every year as a visiting professor to conduct the recess courses.

Over lunch, he thanked us for the hospitality and professionalism, which is the best, in his words. This office/team is what makes the programme today, but the sad fact is that in most unis, some professors egoistically believes that they’re head above the rest, and neglects the importance of the admissions and academics team. He appreciates that we work hard, and we get things done.

If only everyone treasures our commitment at work like that.

Just before the dishes were served, he posed a question.

Do we innovate much in our job?

Which brings us to his second question.

What’s our passion? Do we have enough passion for this job? If not, stop!

What a wake-up call! Haha. He shares that innovation stems from one’s passion. In essence, we should always work with passion. Simply because when we do something we love, chances is that we will always find ways to be innovative about it.

He asked Cyn what is her passion, and she bravely vocalise it in front of all 13 of us – that is her undying passion to help and guide abused kids, and she hopes to have her own support group / agency one day, within the next 10 years.

Why not now?

Answering that question right in front of your colleagues is like a career suicide. But we’re all rather open-minded (i hope), plus our immediate superior wasn’t around. who gives a hoot? ;)

Cyn asked him what if the stakes were high, for e.g. when she has a family to feed.

He gave a classic example where an ex-student of his, previously an architect, who got so sick of doing that she was doing. He asked her what makes her happy, and she said kids. So she gave up her high-paying job, and joined MOE as creativity planner for kids-oriented programmes. Her earnings obviously dwindled, but she’s never been happier.

What he’s trying to point out is that with passion, one day, we’ll be able to recoup what we are “losing”.

So it really got me thinking, what my passion is. As of now, I still couldn’t grip the things that would light up my eyes when I talk about it. Ok, except karaoke ;)

Do you enjoy working or doing what you’re doing? We just don’t have a choice. We get so pre-occupied with work, and it seems like work is just all we have, leaving us little time to reflect.

Hope you and I both get to find out what our passions are (soon), and then innovate from it.

Like Prof Shlomo summarised nicely, quoting a Jewish philosopher, “Become who you are”. Not someone others expect you to be.

The longest journey is not to the moon, but within ourselves.

The Sad Truth

i’ve been hesitating, whether or not to write this. but i have. i want to remember.


i’ve been living in fear the past few months, fearing i won’t see grandma again the next time i return to KL. when i went visiting yesterday, i held my tears several times. 

the first, when mom and uncle spent more than 15mins to wake grandma up. called her, nudged her, shook her, but she remained still. i went stiff. all sorts of thoughts went through my mind. and i really hate it.


when grandma finally woke up, she stared coldly. collecting her memories, perhaps, cos mom said she can’t even recognize 3rd auntie and 4th uncle anymore. i really want to cry.

we wheeled grandma out to the living room. i brushed her hands. she held mine. i was overcomed by emotions. again, i held my tears and didn’t dare let go.

after feeding grandma, we showed her pictures from 5yi‘s handphone. her eyes were looking at the screen, but i don’t know if she knows who’s who in the pictures.

she doesn’t even talk now, the tumour inhibited her reflexes, and made it difficult to express and convey her thoughts. most of the time grandma can not comprehend what we said. we tried to make her talk. bombarding her with questions – what is your name, who we are, what items are what, just to make her speak. we tried to make her laugh, sometimes she did, but i don’t know if she knows why it was funny.

none of us knows what to expect. or how much worse her condition could get. this pains me.

on my way to KLIA this afternoon, i saw flashbacks of yesterday’s visit, and sewn a new thread of tear beads.


what if one day, we lose our memories or our ability to remember?

Learning to Accept.

there’s only one thing haunting me for the past 7 days.

not because of the cancellation of my bali trip, but why.

grandma is hospitalized .. again. she fell two, three times. the third time, it was bad.

these recent months, we thought her deteriorating health was due to a mild stroke, but we were greeted by the unwanted. brain cancer, the doctors pronounced. final stage.

few more months. it hurt so bad. i hold nothing but tears and a torn heart.